In a July 9, 2012 Op-ed titled The Opportunity Gap, New York Times columnist David Brooks identifies and laments that “children of the more affluent and less affluent are raised in starkly different ways and have different opportunities” – opening up an even greater chasm in society that threatens the social fabric.
Brooks wisely notes that while money plays a significant role, there is a huge gap in the time that parents of different educational levels invest in their children, and that the marriage gap plays a huge role in the time available to invest in children. He recognizes that the earliest years are the critical gap: “This attention gap is largest in the first three years of life when it is most important.”
Brooks offers two prescriptions for the opportunity gap: liberals need to insist that marriage comes before childbearing; and conservatives need to be willing to pay (in increased taxes or reduced benefits) for “programs that benefit the working class.”
There is another, more radical, prescription. It is for advantaged parents to build personal relationships with, and support, disadvantaged parents – especially in that critical period of early childhood.This approach has a host of benefits: (1) it doesn’t engage in blind finger pointing at either the “out of touch elites” or the “morally inferior underclass”, (2) cultural transmission of important values happens relationally rather than merely programmatically, and (3) perhaps most obviously it bridges widening social gaps by bringing people with very different experiences together – physically and relationally.
I have no illusions that this is easy. It isn’t; it is very hard work. But think about it this way: If you were poor or working class, who would you listen to? Policy pundits who say to get married before you have kids and enroll in government programs that address your issues, or real people who help you change diapers, listen to your story, and join you in reading books with your children? I can tell you whom I would trust more . . .