For six years, I was a full-time father in Manhattan. I loved every minute of it – and for significant chunks of that time added a friend’s child to the mix. A friend in NYC is just about to transition from being a full-time father of one two full time father of two and asked me for logistical tips on the joy of fathering two kids in the city. Here are my tips.

Gear: Why start with stuff? Because the great thing about living in NYC is all the great places to go. And if you have two little kids, you have to pack well (and light) in order to do it.

1. Stroller. I found that I often traveled wearing one child and pushing the other. For this, I haven’t found a better solution than the MacLaren Techno. Why?

• Weight. It’s light, but sturdy. I carried it up and down countless subway stairs.
  
• Ease of use. It collapses with one hand, which is key when you’re wearing one kid, holding the hand of the other, and stepping onto the bus.
• The rain shield. It keeps out the wind, rain, and snow, and it stows easily in the pouch on the back.
• Telescoping handles. If your 6 foot or more, this makes a big difference.
• Wheels. I’ve put many hundreds of miles on the wheels and they haven’t worn out!
• Economy??? Yes, I know they’re expensive. Look for last year’s model on eBay – and pay 50% of retail for this year’s model. That’s what I did.

That’s when you’re wearing one and pushing the other. If you want to push both, the best solution I’ve found is from Phil & Teds. Why?

• Width. It is narrow enough to navigate Fairway (or Trader Joe’s or wherever you shop) without annoying everyone else in the store. (Yes, I did grocery shopping with the kids!)
• Form factor. It collapses flatter than many three-wheeled strollers.
• Handle height. It has an adjustable handle – which is key for taller dads to not feel like they’re leaning over the stroller.
• Strength. If you’re going to have 2 kids, plus a diaper bag and groceries, and you’re going to use it for years, it needs to have structural integrity.
• Physics. The stacked design means that the center of gravity is over the rear axle – which makes it easy to turn.
• Running. I ran a lot in NYC, and almost always with at least one kid. There are lots of better strollers for running (I love our BOB single, and I ran regularly with a Mountain Buggy side-by-side double and used a BOB double for a month or two.) But if you’re space limited (like everyone in Manhattan) and have to limit your wheeled devices, the P&T is the best stroller solution for 2 young kids.
• Economy??? Again, the Phil & Teds strollers are expensive – but a whole lot cheaper than owning a car. My brother-in-law got a great used P&T off Craigslist. (eBay is more expensive because of the shipping of the heavier stroller.)

2. Baby wearing. I mentioned that I frequently wore one child. I’ve used a Bjorn, a sling and an Ergo, and the Ergo gets my vote. Why?

• Versatility: wear your child on your front or on your back.
• Head support: It makes a huge difference for your non-infant being able to fall asleep.
• Size: I still wear my nearly-four-year-old for multi-mile hikes.
• Stow-ability: I can roll it up and pack it into a backpack or under the stroller.
• The pocket: This may sound stupid, but having a zippered pocket on the carrier is brilliant – and very often used.

3. Diaper Bag. Wherever you go, you’re going to need stuff – to eat, drink, wear, and entertain. Here’s my list for what went in the daddy diaper bag:

• Camera
• Books
• Toys
• Snacks/drinks
• Wipes
• Tissues
• Bandaids
• Paper/crayons
• Sunglasses
• Leatherman

Those things were always in there. Depending on the age of the child(ren) and the season of year, it could also include:

• Diapers
• Hats/gloves
• Jacket/sweater
• Umbrella
• Hairbands
• Sunblock, sunhat, swimsuit, rash guard

How to contain all that stuff? Pockets. If a bag doesn’t have lots of little pockets, it is worthless. You’ll spend all your time digging for the one thing that you want at the bottom of the pocketless bag.

• Stroller-friendly: I recommend Skip Hop for attaching to a stroller. It is durable and well-designed for urban use (and you can get it in colors other than pink).
• Backpack: I wore – and still wear – a discontinued Timbuk2 backpack. It is waterproof – which makes a big difference, has plenty of small pockets and pouches, and has two exterior water bottle pockets. The virtue of a backpack is that you can hang it over the stroller handle(s) or wear it on your back while wearing a kid on the front. I never found an over the shoulder bag (including Skip Hop) that would stay on my shoulder while wearing a Bjorn or Ergo.

In short, I recommend investing in gear because you’re going to use it every day. Good stuff will last you a long time and make your daily routines easier – and you won’t have to replace it. But the point of the stuff is all the great things to do with kids in NYC.

Routines
We found a rhythm of life that worked really well for us. It got us out and about every day and kept all of us happy, healthy and sane. Here are some of the key elements:

1. Playgrounds. One summer we visited all 21 playgrounds in Central Park. Of course we had our favorites, and visited them regularly. But exploring the variety was part of the fun.
2. Zoos. The WCS family zoo pass is well worth it. The Central Park Zoo is fun, but that is only part of the WCS. The Bronx Zoo is amazing. The Brooklyn Aquarium is fun for a day trip, and the Prospect Park Zoo is well shaded for hot summer days. (Sadly, I never made it to the Queens Zoo!)
3. Museums. At the very top of my list is Start with Art an almost daily drop-in program (free with admission) at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We went almost weekly for four years. That alone is almost reason enough to pay NYC rent! The American Museum of Natural History has an Early Adventures Program (also free with museum admission) that my girls loved and did weekly for several years. The Whitney and MoMa have growing classes for kids. The Jewish Museum has a great kids’ room. The Museum of the City of New York has an exhibit dedicated to historic toys. And there are many, many other great museums with children’s programs! (For example, check out the Sony Wonderlab in midtown that is always free!)
4. Libraries. We made at least weekly trips to our local library, and participated in the story hour and song time. We also made special trips to the Central Library and the Brooklyn Library for special events.
5. Parks. In addition to the playgrounds, there are so many great parks! Central Park, Riverside Park and Battery City Park all have fun (mostly free) events for kids throughout the year. Go ice skating at Bryant Park in the winter, or listen to an outdoor piano concert at lunchtime during the summer.
6. Programs. We found all the great free programs for kids: soccer and basketball clinics in Riverside Park, tennis in Central Park, swimming lessons in Central Park or Mount Morris Park, golf at a local school with a turf field – and all for free!

The only way that an out-and-about routine can work is with a good home routine. I found that planning for naps, cleaning, cooking, groceries and laundry was mission critical to being able to enjoy the city with my kids. Here are some of the highlights:

1. Plan the week’s meals. If I took the time to plan, I’d know what to get at the store, and what I needed to do before we headed out for the day. Sounds simple. I wish I was good at it.
2. Do the grocery shopping first thing. I found that the perfect time to grocery shop was before 9:00 am. There were no lines, and my shopping time was cut in half. (If I did step 1, and made a good list, it was even faster.)
3. Make laundry fun. The clothes have to get clean, and for most of our NYC life that meant weekly time at the laundromat. In time I learned to make it fun. I’d put the wash in and then we’d head to the park a block away for 20 minutes of active time before putting in the drying. I brought stickers, crayons, books and paper for while I was folding clothes so that the girls would have something fund and constructive to do.
4. Naps. Kids who sleep well are happier. In time, I learned to plan the day around their rest. Often that meant planning a run in Central Park in the early afternoon so that I could get exercise while one or both of the children slept. It also meant planning to be home on other days so that they could have a real nap in bed.
5. Cleaning. I found that planning cleaning around the kids’ routines was helpful. I could do the cleaning while they napped or played, and that way it got done when they didn’t need my undivided attention.

NYC is an amazing place to be a full time dad. With a good plan, consistent routines, and some durable gear, it is the privilege of a lifetime.

What did I miss? What other tips do you have for a full-time father of two in Manhattan?